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Thursday, 22 June 2017

Insight For Men On Not Getting Married: One Potential Disadvantage Towards It

04:14 0

When it comes to the terms of marriage, even though or despite the fact we live in a society to where in which people don't value and embrace the real and true meaning of it as once before or compared to years and decades back, and although it's the case of where in which you have people out there that aren't really open towards it on the case of accepting as the next phase or a future endeavor and prospect of life, looking at that specifically from a gender standpoint,  when it comes to men being in that predicament or having that exact feeling and intuition as I described it, in which is unsurprisingly common among the male gender and sex, or within the male population and male community, and taking into consideration the fact that there now is a gradually growing epidemic of where fewer men are now becoming less intrigued or already have became uninterested in marriage now in the time that we currently live in, as according to certain studies, due to the fact that they realize or feel as if there's no benefit or favor for them due to the fact that they feel as if some women will only care about the benefits that they want, without taking them into consideration, or too much liability and legal responsibility will be placed on them and not as much on the woman, especially when it's not necessary, with that a lot of times being given more so from a financial, economical, governmental or judicial perspective or the reasons that men who feel that way, more in particular with the typical minded ones, give being based on that in a lot of times, while also some social and interpersonal reasons being blended into it and giving contribution to it as well at times, looking at it on the flip-side, or in other words looking at the other side of fence, if it's the case of where in which some people, men especially and more in particular, feel as if there are advantages to not getting married or better off not jumping into marriage, in which for some people there might be or could be the best option, on the terms of the disadvantages towards it, in which some might believe that there isn't, just to state, pick out, identify and explain one of them, although this can apply to women as well that are in this situation, and to bring in the aspect of spirituality and God for those of you who believe in it that are reading this right now, due to the fact that it's very applicable to that dynamic as well, if it's the case of where in which you're a man that God has called you to be a leader or you're that type of man that has shows, and demonstrates strong, vivid and innate leadership traits, if it's the case of where in which you know God has called you to build up, create and establish a platform or in Christian words, "ministry", of where you reach out to people, help people and deliver people out of their issues and problems that they deal with struggle with on a daily basis in life, touch, impact and change lives, or if you have the passion to do that and you have the idea of turning that passion into a business, company or organization that has the purpose, intent, aim and objective of doing that, and if it's the case of where in which God has called you to be married or you know you're supposed to get married but you don't want to, because believe it or not, there are some of you men out there that are like that, as result, you and your business or ministry will be at risk of having a hard-hitting effect of where in which you won't be as useful, sufficient, effective, influential and powerful as it's meant to be, as it has the potential of being or as God has called it to be. The reason of why I'm saying that is based on the fact that if or when it's the case of where in which you do build a platform, business or ministry of helping people, touching people and impacting people's lives, six to nine times out of ten, you are going to be helping people in many different aspects of life, meaning that you're are going to be touching on many topics that they need enlightenment, guidance, truth and revelation on, with arguably one the most common topics of all time that people might, want or actually needing that on being marriage, and if it's the case of where in which you're not married yourself, you won't be able to relate to them that much due to inexperience and as a result, you could potentially loose your following or audience due to that and people might not take you serious because of it. Another thing as well is  that taking the age factor into consideration, if it's the case of where in which you have fully built your ministry by an appropriate, suitable and mature age and if it's the case of where in which you're ready to function and be fully active in that, more likely on the terms of age group that you're audience will be in that needs guidance in that area, it will be around the estimated age range of 25 and over, and if you can't relate to them on that aspect, nothing effective will happen when trying to reach out to them to help them in that specific area. Another thing is that, to back up my point, when you look up at the men who are globally and universally respected seen as being role models, leaders and people who are or have significant influence and that have impacted and touched people's lives, a lot of times, they're married. That basically means that marriage not only validates your calling as a man of greatness, but also your business, organisation or ministry as a whole. If you don't, you and it will be lacking in that area. The more daunting thing about this is that I'm also talking to myself while saying this as well.
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Wednesday, 31 May 2017

Things Us Black Men Need To Work On

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When it comes to the terms of us as black men, even though some people could disagree with this, living in a society or world even to where in which we are not favored in some, if not a lot of cases, more in particular with that being based the perceptions or stereotypes that people all over the world have about us, with it largely and mainly being influenced, projected and propagated by news and entertainment formats such as the media, films, TV shows and music, when it comes to the terms of the things that we need to work on, our weaknesses or the issues that we have that need to be resolved and abolished in order to progress and continue on further with development as a group of men or people in general as that fact, with this being something that was entailed on a couple of photos that I saw and came across on social media a while back, that struck and provoked some thought in my mind, with this being something that some of my black brothers that are reading this article or write-up right now might disagree with on the terms of thinking that as a group of men or people, we don’t have any issue and any problems or you don’t see it that way, in which is fine by me and we can agree to disagree, and if this doesn’t apply to you as a brother, then don’t mind me, but this is coming from my personal observation as of that matter, and this at the same time is also coming from the heart and I’m speaking to directly to myself as well, with that being that I’m a black man myself.

Now, to get into it, the first thing that we need to work on, that is weakness for us, if not one of the biggest or the biggest weakness in that fact, that needs to be resolved is our sense of pride and ego. From personal experience, and some brothers reading this could agree with me and testify to this, it seems as if sometimes, it's the case of where some of us back men take or let our self-esteem get too high and become very arrogant, prideful and egotistical. Now, on the terms of where that could stem from, it could come from the fact that us as black men, or black people for years or centuries were brought up in environments to where in which we didn't have much or a lot to work with, we're seen as being inferior in a lot of cases, especially in a society like the United States of America, and as a whole aren’t valued that much based off of what we want people or society to value us off, especially if it’s something such as our education, due to the fact that an educated black man, in a lot of cases in this society, with me being of personal testimony to this and other brothers as well, more so with the ones that are eductaed, doesn’t really get promoted, attention or recognition that much with the same thing to a degree, applying to an educated black woman as well. If we do get value, regard, attention, notice and recognition, a lot of times, it’s based off of talent that applies and relates to things such as sport and entertainment. To give an example of that, that’s the reason of why in which sport organizations such as the NBA and NFL and pre-dominantly filled by and filled black male athletes or African-American males make up most of the professional athletes who play in the NFL or NBA. To give another example, that’s the reason of why even in the celebrity and entertainment world, you see a big population of black men, whether it being rappers, singers, actors, TV personalities, radio personalities, DJ’s and more. However, when you look at black men in the education aspect, even though there are educated black men out there whether them being doctors, lawyers, engineers, politicians or anything else along those lines, there isn’t that of a fairly and exceptionally reasonable or substantial amount of black men, much compared to other parts of society like the entertainment field. This is part of the reason why I think a certain percentage young black boys, again in the US mainly, have the issue or epidemic of where they place football players, basketball players and rappers up on pedestals, see them as being role models and have dreams and desires have being in that predicament like them, due to the fact that they realize that that is the only place of where in which they get value in this society, more so other than their fathers instilling them to have those dreams, goals or desires, in which is meant to be another issue with black fathers and their sons in the U.S that ties in with that.

 Now, with no meaning to shame, ridicule, mock, throw my brothers under the bus or make my brothers look bad, and even though it might sound harsh and hurtful to say, and to some it might sound unnecessary to talk about, but however, just to bring it up, the main place of society that has the largest population of black men is sadly and unfortunately in jail and prison, on the terms of black men being the biggest and largest population demographic, with them making up almost two thirds of the total amount of prison inmates, with their being a total of two million black people in jail in the United States in particular, on the terms of the epidemic of the mass incarceration of black men in America, in which is another, completely different or much more serious topic that has to deal with and interlinks with social and political issues such as racism, crime, judicial treatment of blacks or African-Americans and more. To go even further and back up my point even more, going back to the aspect of education, it’s found out  that black men are the least educated group of people, particularly in the United States of America, with the more shocking and hurtful thing, in my personal opinion, toward that being that their black female-counterparts out-earn, out-employ and out-educate them, with the fact black women, have been found to be the most educated group of people period in the U.S, with that including other races as whole and other genders linked with other races as well, even though a big contribution factor to that, is again the population factor on the terms of the fact that black women out number black men by a big proportion in the black community. 


The second thing that we need to work on, that is a weakness, again if not one of the biggest, or as a matter of act, is probably the biggest weakness or issue with us in my personal opinion, and again some brothers can disagree,  that I would say, is that even though with this being an issue that men in general, regardless of race have and that some men, with that including men of other races as well, could agree on, with that being that we need to stop putting so much emphasis on being strong, tough, dominant and hyper-masculine. Again, even though men in general have this issue, with us black men in particular, we take it to the extreme at times more than other races of men coming off of personal experience. A lot of us are just afraid to be ourselves, to show how we truly feel or to show real, genuine or vulnerable emotions. However, us men in general aren’t really good at communicating on an expressive that much compared to women, with that being something that you'll hear some women complain about, in which hurts for affirm by saying that it's true to say due to the fact that I wish it wasn’t the case, but it is unfortunately and the reason of why that is partly due to the fact that we as a gender aren’t as emotional as women, but more so due to the fact that if we do it, we are going to get chastised, condemned and scrutinized by people and society as a whole. A lot of us try to hide who we really are behind this alpha-male and hyper-masculine persona because we are afraid of being judged somebody whether it being by a woman, a black women mainly or the next black man that sees us as being weak, soft or less than a man.
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Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Nagging & Complaining In Relationships And Marriages: Reasons Why Do Some Women Do It Too Much Or Too Often

08:27 0
First of all, to start off before diving in into the main substance and core of this article or write-up, let me just by humble myself by saying that I'm not a woman, nor will I understand what it is to be a woman, especially and more in particular with the mind-set, psyche, thought process or consciousness of a woman, nor will I won't know everything about operating as a woman, and some women who are reading this article right now will probably or more likely and most definitely agree with me on that, or check me on that if I do say something that's perceived to be out of line, wrong, fallacious, inaccurate, irresponsible or just ludicrous assumptions, in which with this, I'll try my best not to do any of the things that I've just mentioned, even though in all honesty, that would never be my intention when writing up an article on any topic, but however, this is coming from personal experience and personal observation of the women or female counterparts in my life, whether it be family members, friends, associates and acquaintances, or even just strangers as well.
Now, getting into it, when it comes to the terms of nagging and complaining in relationships or marriages, in which in my personal opinion is a minor and subsidiary topic that doesn’t really get discussed that much and sometimes  can be forgotten on the terms of existence, on the terms of why some women do it, especially and more in particular if it's constant and consistent, with that being something that some, if not a lot of men ask from time to time as well, to answer that question or give a theory on it from a man's observational view, let's start off by stating the fact, in which might seem obvious to some people, with that including both men and women, that not all women do at a level of vivid or rapid continuity. Let’s also continue that by stating another fact with that being that women are by nature, more emotional than men, so at times you might or probably will get it and experience it in a relationship, depending on what type of situation it is, whether it be during the time of pregnancy with that tying more in with marriage, starting a family and having children, with that being a very common case of where women will complain and nag that you'll hear men talk or, just like women, complain about themselves, as a result of the physical stress that pregnancy comes with, in which is and should be very understandable from our perspective. Another example can come in the form of losing a loved one whether it be a family member or close friend, in which more so has to deal with the emotional side of things, but as a result, when it comes to a relationship or marriage even, constantly complaining and nagging can occur and become more frequent, with some people seeing that as being a change, if not drastic change of character, even though that is capable of applying to anybody, regardless of gender.
However, no meaning to go off subject, but, just to put it and throw it out there, looking at that and focusing on that in particular, from a man's perspective, and some of the men that are reading this right now might or probably will affirm what I'm saying and agree with it on the terms of it sounding obvious, but,  that is, or in reality, should be the hardest part of being in a relationship with a woman, or the part of where we are going to get tested the most on how we treat a woman and if we’re serious about being committed to a woman, with that being the case of emotionally supporting them and being emotional available for them, other than just loyalty, faithfulness, trust, security and more, with that being some of the main things that women want from men in relationships and marriages, while also us men want from women as well.
On the other hand, going back to the point, on the terms of the reasons of why some women nag and complain, especially if it's constantly in a relationship or marriage, one reason, with this being something that some people, both men and women, say, or that I've heard, is that it's just blatantly in their nature, or more so character to constantly nag and complain, in which with me personally, I don't fully buy into or accept as a justifiable excuse or answer, unless it's the case of it being a deep-routed reason stemming from traumatic or negatively life-altering events taken place such as losing a loved one, as I mentioned before, then the reason is and will be justifiable and acceptable
However, coming in with my personal observation and theory, with women who nag and complain constantly, on the terms of why they do it, with some women it can be the case of them growing up in a household or home, where everything was done for them from childhood up to adulthood, whether it be by their father, mother, siblings or anyone else, and if they didn't get there way, they complained and moaned about it, in which with that showing a sign that she’s very immature and has a lot of growing up to do.
 Another reason of why some women nag and complain constantly can come in the form of where in which with some women, with everything they do, whether it being from hobbies to habits, or especially if it involves something such as cleanliness, is done in a certain way or are used to doing it in a certain way, and if something at a certain time is done differently compared to the way they know, in which is the seen as being the usual, normal or even obvious way, they instantly disagree with it, start to take issue with it and start to make a fuss about it. When looking at this, it can tie back into of the point I mentioned before about the upbringing, whether it being based on being brought up in a home to where boundaries were set, in which should be every single household in reality, or homes that were based in the predicament of religion or culture, even though, again that can apply to anybody, regardless of gender and it can apply towards any situation other than the social and interpersonal dynamics of relationship and marriages. 
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Homelessness, Destitution, Poverty Link With Friendship: Is It Good Or Bad To Aid Them While With Family At Times?

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Hey, Guys. Here's an OPEN QUESTION that's on my mind. With this question, it's something that some, if not a lot of you, might or probably won't be able to relate or experienced, with the fact that I haven't experienced it myself, or on the positive, but also at mutual regard, negative side, you might or probably know someone who has gone through this situation, and I can't fathomly imagine what people in this situation go through and have to endure on a daily basis, mind talking about how long they go through it. The reason of why I'm asking this question is it's something that recently struck a cord on my mind and heart, and I want to see your intake on it and hear your opinion on it. With this, it is to a big degree or certain extent, risky situation if it's the case of where you're the type of person that's too generous, too giving, too compassionate or too emphatic, however other than that, without further ado, the question is this:
When it comes to the terms of homelessness, destitution, and living in poverty, knowing that it's a situation or circumstance that either no human being living on this earth would not want to be in or something that some people were unfortunately born into, if it's the case of where in which you're close friends with a homeless person, a person who is from a lower class of wealth or person who lives and resides in a poverty-ridden area and environment, and show that you're a real and true friend or good human being as of that fact by looking after them and providing for them where it appropriate and sensible, is it good or bad to put and place their health, safety and security of first where it's necessary, at the same time or in mutual regard like your family, if they were stuck in a situation or dilemma , knowing that they're less unfortunate than all of you?
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Tuesday, 23 May 2017

Things I Don't Understand About Women

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When it comes to the terms of doing what the photo says in which says to state what us men don't understand about women, if I were honest, here are a few questions that I personally have that I want women to answer:
1. Why is it the case of where in which women who don't want a man on the route to his success, only want him when at the point or moment of when he is very successful or doing something major with his life?
From personal experience or my personal observation, it's always the case of where in which when a man is very successful or doing something major with his life, that the women who rejected him, ignored him, disregarded him, and paid him no attention at all or whatever back then or even with the ones that they bullied, were mean-spirited and judgmental towards, will now come back to pursue him, cling for him or desire his attention
2. Why is it the case of where there's a double standard on the case of the fact that when you women are criticizing us men through the form of identifying out the flaws and issues that we have, especially when it comes to the dynamic of relationships, there's no problem with it and people are in praise and salute of it, with that including some men as well, but the minute when we do the same thing towards you, you condemn it and label it as being sexist, anti-female or it as the case of where we are throwing hate-speech towards you, especially when both perspectives are being given in an angry, frustrated and bitter tone?
3. Why is it the case of where when us men are trying to pursue a relationship or catch your attention for the sake of a relationship, you expect us to show the reason why we're worth you're time, but when you try and catch our attention and and when we ask you to do the same thing, you feel as if it's not worth it and as if you're too good for that?
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Monday, 22 May 2017

Relationship Advice To Women: Avoid "Overconfident" Men

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In this article or in this write up, I am going to be doing what the photo entails in which is to give women relationship advice that I think will be very useful and beneficial to take heed of for the future. Now, if I were to be honest, with what I'm about to say, it shouldn't be anything of deep, major or powerful revelation and insight, plus I don't want people reading this to treat it like that and perceive it as that, women especially, meaning that in reality, it should be common sense and common knowledge and people should know this, women especially and more in particular, due to the fact that it's them that end up being in this situation a lot or quite often from my personal observation, more than men, but they tend to still not catch on to this, get this, understand this and comprehend this. The piece of advice that I have to offer is this:

To the women that are reading this article or write-up now, let me first start off by saying that there's nothing wrong with being attracted to a man who has confidence in himself or that is very self-assured in himself, with that being something that a lot of women will commonly, generically or on agreed term say that is an instant attraction or turn-on to them, and as men, when it comes to catching your attention, standing out from the crowd of other men, being worth your time or being in relationships with you, you expect us to be that and have that.

However, when it comes to the terms of a man being very confident and assured in himself to the extent where you would consider or label  him to be conceited and arrogant, with other aspects of him coming in the form of where he's very extroverted, boisterous, trendy, materialistic, competitive with other men when it comes to other women and playful, with that being the type of some women out there like or are attracted to believe it or not, let me just directly say this to you: don't bother pursuing relationships with these men or "little boys" more rather, who can put so-called, with me saying it in informal wording "play" or "game"on you. The reason of why I'm saying that is because with men like that, if you do manage or happen to get in and enter a relationship with them, they will be the same men that, when the storm hits the relationship, when stuff hits the fan, when things gets serious for you, or when the relationship gets put to the test, in which for a guaranteed fact is going to happen due to the fact that every real and true relationship is going to go through that, in which again should be something that people should obviously know, they won't be able to be loyal to you, they won't be able to be faithful to you, they won't be able to know how to give you wisdom knowledge, understanding and encouragement to uplift you and, perhaps the biggest area of lack in the relationship for you looking at it by nature, they won't be able to know how to emotionally support you and be emotionally available for you. They'll be so lost and confused in that area or dynamic, they won't know what to do. They won't even know how to lead you or be your protector and provider in the relationship. 

In basic words, what I'm saying is to look at the big picture or towards the future when pursuing and going after a man who has confidence in himself. This means that although he has the one specific or main trait that you desire in a man with that being confidence, before diving in or jumping into the relationship with him, take into considerations other traits that are required for the sake of a healthy, long-term and substantial relationship, with examples of that being the case of where, is he going to be the man that's going to be loyal to you when you need him to be? Is he going to be that type of man that is going to be faithful to you at all times? Is he going to be that type of man that is going to respect you and love you unconditionally? Is he going to be that type of man that is going to be emotional available and emotionally supportive of you? Is he going to be that type of man that knows how to give you words of wisdom, encouragement, uplift and advice whenever you need it or when it's necessary? Is he going to be that type of man that knows how to lead you and guide you in a relationship? Is he going to be that type of man that is going to protect you and keep you secure in a relationship? Is he going to be that type of man that knows how to or that can provide for you in a relationship?

However, no meaning to go off topic but the same thing applies to men as well. With us men, it's different on the case of the fact that a lot of times, it's the usual case of where in which were immediately try and go after or pursue a woman who we see and label as being physically attractive, with some of us, just like women with us men, being instantly attracted to a woman who has confidence in herself as well. However, other than her being physically attractive and her being very confident, when it comes to pursuing a real and actual relationship with her, have you considered what her character and personality is going to be like? Is she going to be that type of woman that is going to appreciate you, love you and accept you for who you are? Is she going to be that type of woman that is going to be supportive of you in everything you do, if it's positive, efficient and useful? Is she going to be that type of woman that is going to respect you as a man and cater to you if she realises you're worth it and knows how to? Is she going to be that type of woman that is going to let you be a man and operate as a man in a relationship?

Now, going back to the ladies, if you want a man who has the qualities that I just mentioned now, don't go for those type of men. If you don't, then I'm going to assume, and some men could probably follow me along with this as well, that it's the case of where in which you either don't know what you want from a relationship, or you do know what you want, but instead the wrong thing with that being entertainment, even though, in all honesty, that is the issue with people today on the terms of relationships, on the terms of the fact that a lot of people, the youth, teenagers and young adults more in particular, are getting in it or basing off of entertainment. 

Here's a little secret: With the men who are willing to be your leader, protector, provider, loyal partner, faithful partner, wisdom-filled partner, encouraging partner, uplifting partner, knowledgeable partner, advisory partner, emotionally supportive partner and emotionally available partner, they won't be the men that appear to you with ease and simplicity. Instead, they'll be the men that are building up and waiting for that right moment to approach, of in which, the reason for that, at first sound or first hearing, might be low self-esteem, in which might be the case in some instances, in which a reason for part of that, looking at it on wide social scale, is due to the fact that men who are good, decent, loving and respectful, to an extent, aren't really valued that much, even though that can applied to people in general,  it's not. It's called taking time and waiting for the right moment
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